Episode: Clem and the Beanstalk – Season 9 – Episode 29
Original Air Date: 1960/05/24
Guest Star: Mamie Van Doren, Peter Lorre

Okay, before I started I had to figure out, “who is Mamie Van Doren?” A quick search lets me know that, well now, she’s thaaaat Mamie Van Doren. One of the early sex symbols in American television history. Posed for Playboy in 1963 a couple times. Has a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She might have even acted, too – given the Broadway credits.

Here we go. “Live from Hollywood; It’s the Red Skelton Show with David Rose and his orchestra.”

Oooh, they switched up the intro to also give props to David Rose as well as Mamie Van Doren and Peter Lorre.

“We were lucky to get Peter Lorre. I found him in an Easter Egg hunt,” - Red Skelton starts firing away already.

The reason they choose to do a show based on Jack and the Beanstalk:

“With all the politicians making speeches nowadays we thought we would do ‘Jack and the Beanstalk.’ That’s a fairy tale, too.”  1960 - (the time of the Nixon vs. Kennedy election).

Red’s gonna pantomime something other than little old man and the boy. He’s doing “The Ugly Duckling.”

The moderator’s left turn during the storytelling:  “People felt sorry for him and threw him poison popcorn.”

The dancers look all martian. I think they’re lost in space :-). They’re inviting us to Mars. They’re highly civilized. Man, every fabulous place seems caught up in tourism anymore :-P.

Red’s always good at pulling the tails off animals. Poor cow. Poor as Clem’s family.

“What do you take me for, a Mormon?” - Clem during the sale of the cow. Clem (Red) quickly corrected himself. Looks like the writing on the cue cards needs to be bigger. Another moment to show why live comedy can be so much fun to watch.

Apparently magic beans don’t grow as fast when you’re watching them. Ooh, it grew. Phew. Looks like an infomercial tomato planter.

Peter Lorre is the martian king. His sneaky, sly german cadence is timeless. The golden egg will “scramble the earth.”

His daughter is Mamie Van Doren. She can be a queen.

The beanstalk just happened to stop growing outside the martian window. Clem climbs it and sees the ‘giant.’

“I bet even Dean Martin’s never been this high.”

Oooh, martian Mamie is gonna do her dance of the heavenly bodies and place him under a spell. Lucky Clem. Easy way to sneak in a lip sync of a Broadway number.

Clem is too dumb to hypnotize. Martian Mamie thinks the human kiss might be a secret weapon. Clem shows her, again and again. Clems kisses have convinced Mamie to help save the world. The king has been hit with a stun gun. Clem’s gonna test how stunned the king really is:

“Before I go, tell me, what did you and Sidney Greenstreet really do with the Maltese Falcon?”

“You saw that? I’ll tell you what we did…” - The Martian King

“No. No one will ever listen to the end of ‘The Maltese Falcon.’” - the Martian King (Lorre).

Ma dropped the egg and the world blew up. Who’s to explain what happened to the earth? None other than “The Twilight Show’s,” Rod Serling.

Final Thoughts:

Clem and The Beanstalk has to be considered one of the classic The Red Skelton Show episodes. You had stars, the show ended with a twist, and it ended with Rod Serling. Also, filled with many, many one-liners both of political and general nature. The 1960 Political Primaries were heating up and Television was getting it’s hands into everything. Red’s humor was very indicative of Television’s influence in 1960, and using Clem Kadiddlehopper in the same way the Simpsons now use Homer Simpson to make light and references to the political and cutural news was pure genius.

Another episode review coming soon.

Episode: Clem’s General Store - Season 9, Episode 2
Original Air Date: 1959/10/06
Guest Star: Jane Mansfield

“Welcome to the Dignity Hour,” Red self-mocks. The crowd (and laugh track) warms up nicely.

“Would you believe it; I have a cold.” Wow, they talk about PC nowadays. Red comes out with a routine where you couldn’t tell whether or not he was acting inebriated or delayed. I’m aware the understanding of those who are delayed has advanced since 1959, but as I watched I had to catch myself for a second, uncertain whether or not it was okay to laugh. Then you see Red laughing right along with the crowd and you realize he meant well. Shock value works well - even if it’s only shocking 50 years later. Wow, it’s been 50 years later.

The little old man and little boy adventures seems to be a continuous skit. A good skit. I just didn’t realize it was such a consistent part of The Red Skelton Show. I Love how the moderator shifts the story and makes Red work on the fly. You can tell when Red knows the line is coming and when the skit went to left field.

I’m getting a gist for the flow of The Red Skelton Show. The singers are doing the prelude to the main skit. Oooh, look, good to see Product Placement is a brand new old concept :-). It paid the bills. Stock in picnic blankets must have went up this day because all the dancers’ outfits look cut from that type of cloth.

Highlights from The Red Skelton Show’s Clem’s General Store

Clem’s General Store: Act I

- Ooh, the Clem’s General Store starts in Acts. Act one has Jane Mansfield at home. Wow, I can see all the rave over her beauty. She’s humbling. I can see why Red would make this skit a long one.

-Yes! Red cracked character and is improvising until the timing of the skit comes around. Nice. He doesn’t panic.

“My father made the same mistake twice: I have a younger brother you know.”
- Clem Kadiddlehopper

- More product placement at The General Store. The store manager even named the sponsors. Clem needs the job or he can’t marry Daisy June.

- “You’re not smart enough to work here. You ain’t got the brains you were born with.”
- General Store owner
“Well, that’s inflation for you.” - Clem

- Look at that, Jamie Farr and Jesse White are the escaped convicts.

End of Act 1.

Clem’s General Store: Act II

- “Nobody knows how hard I work. I won’t tell’em.” - Clem
“A lot of hours, ehh?” - Nose the convict (Farr)
“No, 60 minutes like the rest of them,” I love how Red breaks character when they aren’t expecting it and then goes back in when the actors come out. His countertempo is classic.

- I might watch this again just to see how many jokes they make about Jamie Farr’s nose.

- It’s turned into the classic outfit-switcheroo. Poor Clem:
“That’s what convicts wear.” - Daisy June (Mansfield)
“No!?!” - Clem

- Red does a wonderful job at crafting jokes around his guest stars strengths:
“Don’t move,” says Daisy June (shotgun in hand), “I’ve got you all covered.”
“And she’s just the girl to do it,” - Clem.

- The bandits are caught, Daisy and Clem get the reward and can afford their honeymoon - (it’s not like I’m giving the plot away. These episodes are 50 years old).

…and Goodnight from Johnson’s Wax.

Final Thoughts on Clem’s General Store

I can see why comedians in the field remember and study Red Skelton. His ability to keep fellow stars off-balance and alert yet still keep the plot moving is a type of talent seldom seen today. He was a great conductor of the skit. And when he could get the fellow actors to break character, laugh and smile big genuine smiles, the crowd smiled right along.

I don’t know if he could get away with the cross-eyed, “dumb” characters. Those type of characters aren’t perceived as “politically correct” by today’s standards. He’d probably have to give them a functional condition: alcoholic, stoned…Though, I dunno if his fan base would handled a stoned Red. It wouldn’t fit the wholesome nature of The Red Skelton Show.

But, I’m not going to think about that now. I’m just going to look forward to the next episode